Individual Counselling

You may be highly capable and still feel that parts of your life have become organised around fear, self-doubt, responsibility or the need to keep difficult feelings under control.

Perhaps you remain busy because slowing down feels uncomfortable. You avoid conflict because relationships feel fragile. You overprepare because getting something wrong feels unbearable. You care for everyone else while finding it difficult to recognise, let alone express, what you need.

These patterns may have developed for understandable reasons. They may once have helped you stay safe, maintain relationships, manage uncertainty or keep functioning through difficult circumstances.

Counselling can help you understand these patterns and develop more freedom in how you respond to them.

Many of the women I have worked with over the years appear competent, thoughtful and successful from the outside. They manage careers, families, relationships and significant responsibilities. Other people may see them as strong, dependable and remarkably good at coping.

Internally, life may feel quite different.

You may be experiencing:

• anxiety, overthinking or a persistent sense of unease
• perfectionism and harsh self-criticism
• difficulty resting without guilt
• emotional exhaustion or burnout
• feeling responsible for other people’s feelings and wellbeing
• difficulty identifying or expressing your own needs
• fear of conflict, rejection, disappointment or disapproval
• relationship patterns that leave you feeling unseen or depleted
• shame, self-doubt or the sense that you are never doing enough
• the ongoing effects of trauma, family violence, sexual violence or difficult childhood experiences
• a tendency to remain composed until you suddenly feel overwhelmed
• uncertainty about what you want, despite being very clear about what everyone else needs
• a sense that you understand your patterns but cannot seem to change them

You do not need to be in crisis for counselling to be useful. Sometimes the clearest starting point is simply recognising that the way you have been managing no longer feels sustainable.

Not wanting to feel scared or sad or guilty (or anything really!) are all normal human response to distress.

We all move away from experiences that feel painful, threatening or overwhelming. Sometimes that response is protective and necessary. The difficulty arises when avoiding discomfort begins to determine the boundaries of our lives.

You might stop raising important issues because conflict feels dangerous. You may avoid opportunities because failure or exposure feels intolerable. You might remain constantly productive because stillness brings difficult thoughts or feelings closer. You may shape yourself around other people to reduce the risk of rejection.

These strategies can bring relief in the short term. Over time, they can leave less room for spontaneity, intimacy, rest, creativity, self-expression and meaningful choice.

Counselling is not about forcing you to confront everything you fear or taking away strategies before you have other ways to feel safe. It is about understanding what your patterns have been doing for you, recognising what they now cost, and gradually expanding the range of responses available to you.

Counselling is shaped around your circumstances, history and goals. Our work may include:

• understanding how earlier experiences continue to affect your present life
• recognising patterns of avoidance, over-functioning or self-protection
• developing greater emotional and physiological regulation
• working with trauma, shame, grief or self-criticism
• strengthening boundaries without becoming overwhelmed by guilt
• understanding recurring patterns in close relationships
• increasing your capacity to remain present during conflict or uncertainty
• reconnecting with your needs, preferences and values
• learning to respond to yourself with greater steadiness and compassion
• making decisions with greater trust in your own judgement
• taking meaningful action without waiting to feel entirely certain or unafraid

The goal is not to remove every difficult feeling. Fear, sadness, anger, vulnerability and uncertainty are part of being human.

The aim is for those experiences to have less control over the direction of your life.

My approach is collaborative, relational and trauma-informed.

I pay attention to the experiences you bring into counselling, as well as the ways those experiences may continue to shape your emotions, body, relationships and expectations of yourself and others.

I do not view any parts of you or any of your coping strategies as bad or wrong. Patterns such as avoidance, perfectionism, emotional distance, people-pleasing or over-responsibility usually developed in a context where they made sense.

Understanding that context allows us to approach how you want your life to be with great care.

My work is informed by trauma therapy, attachment theory, interpersonal neurobiology, mindfulness, systems thinking and parts-based approaches. I draw from different therapeutic models according to what is useful, rather than trying to make every client fit a single method.

At times our work may be reflective and exploratory. At other times it may involve practical strategies, emotional regulation skills or specific ways of approaching a difficult situation. We may pay attention to what is happening between us in the counselling relationship when this helps illuminate patterns occurring elsewhere in your life.

I bring professional knowledge, curiosity and clinical judgement to the work, while recognising that you remain the expert on your own experience. You are the captain of the ship!

You can expect me to be enthusiastically engaged, caring, thoughtful and direct.

I will listen carefully, but counselling with me is not going to be limited to sympathetic nodding! I may ask questions, offer observations, help you make connections and gently draw attention to patterns that seem important.

I will not tell you how to live your life or assume that I know the correct decision for you. My role is to help you understand what is shaping your choices, consider possibilities more clearly and strengthen your capacity to decide how you want to respond.

There is room for uncertainty, contradiction and ambivalence. You do not need to arrive with a polished account of what is wrong or homework done!

There is also room for joy, acceptance, humour and warmth! Counselling is a very human process. 

I work primarily with adult women who want to understand longstanding emotional or relationship patterns and create meaningful change.

You may be particularly drawn to this work if you:

• feel stuck or overwhelmed
• want to understand the deeper patterns beneath your current difficulties
• value a therapist who can work with complexity
• want both warmth and honest reflection
• are interested in how trauma, relationships, power and context shape experience
• want change that extends beyond managing symptoms from week to week

You do not need to identify as traumatised or have a particular diagnosis to enquire.

Session format
Individual counselling sessions are 60 minutes and are offered online via zoom

Fees
The fee is $170 per session (including GST).

Referrals
You do not need a referral to make an appointment.

Availability
Appointments are currently available, please email me to find the write time.

Cancellations
If you need to move or cancel a session, please let me know as early as you can (ideally 24 hours beforehand) so that it can be offered to someone else who may be waiting. I also understand that life can be unpredictable. If illness or an emergency keeps you from attending, just let me know; otherwise, changes with less than 24 hours’ notice of non-attendance may incur the full fee. Occasionally I may need to reschedule (for example, if I’m unwell). If that happens I will give you at least 48 hours notice whenever possible and offer you the earliest available alternative.

Medicare
There are currently no Medicare rebates.

You are welcome to enquire even when you are not certain whether counselling is the right next step. A few sentences about what has been happening, what you would like help with and your general availability are enough.I will let you know whether I have a suitable appointment available and whether your needs appear to fall within the kind of work I provide.